JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank
Posted by Amazon Deals | Posted in NAO Design, Rare Luxury Items | Posted on 26-07-2010-05-2008
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JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank
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 List Price: unavailable Sale Price: $19,999.95 Availability: unspecified 
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Product Description
The JL421 Badonkadonk is a completely unique, extremely rare land vehicle and battle tank. Designed with versatility in mind, the Donk can transport cargo or a crew of five internally or on the roof, and can be piloted from within the armored shell or from an exposed standing position through the hatch, thanks to special one-way steel mesh armor windows and a control stick that pivots up and down to allow piloting from the standing or seated positions. The interior is fully carpeted and cozy, with accent lighting and room for up to five people. A 400 watt premium sound system with PA is mounted to project sound both into the cabin and outward from behind the windows. The exterior is a steel shell with a rust patina, and features head and tail lights, turn signal lights, trim lighting, underbody lighting, fixed slats protecting the windows, and a unique industrial-strength rubberized flexible skirt that shields and protects the wheels to within an inch of the ground, while still allowing for enough flex to give clearance over bumpy and uneven terrain. Master power, ignition, all lighting, and stereo features are controlled from a single switchboard to the left of the driver, again accessible from either the seated or standing position. Standard drive is an air-cooled, 6hp Tecumseh gasoline (unleaded only) engine, with centrifugal clutch, giving the Donk a top speed of 40 mph. This vehicle is not licensed for use on public roads, and is intended as a recreational vehicle only. Badonkadonks are produced on an order-by-order basis, with each one having it's own unique set of features. With your order is included unlimited consultations with the designer and manufacturer concerning all relevant options (a representative from NAO will contact you shortly after your order). Price does not include shipping and handling.
Details
- Carries cargo or a crew of up to five internally or on the roof.
- Piloted from within the armored shell or from an exposed standing position through the hatch.
- 6hp Tecumseh gasoline engine, top speed 40 mph.
- Includes head/tail and turn signal lights, trim and underbody lighting.
- 400 watt premium sound with PA system, plush interior, and external camera.
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Rating
This a good tank for expressing your political opinions. when election year comes around, you can drive into all those politcal conventions for the parties you dont like, if they don’t let u in then u can always drive thru the wall. then u can drive up next to the stage, dont shoot or anything but point the gun thingy at the candidate u dont like. they might call the marines but since u didnt actually do anything illegal (unless u drove thru the wall) u can call the ACLU and theyll sue the marines for infringing on ur right to drive tanks into political conventions! the only problem is that if u dont live in texas they might not allow u to drive this alot but that doesnt really matter becuz r they REALLY going to pull over some1 in a tank?
Rating
I’m the envy of the neighborhood with this vehicle! I ran over that annoying dog who kept up all the neighbors with their barking, and also ran over the ugly lawn gnomes that that one old lady at the corner had that all the neighbors complained about. I also used this handy tank to ram into the car that the neighbor next door was keeping in their yard (rust and bricks and all) and also used it to ram into the house just around the corner where the college kids are constantly partying (and keeping us hardworking folks awake till the wee hours of the morning). The neighborhood is a lot more apt to respect the rules now, and it’s quiet and peaceful around here.
Not only is it good for rampages, it’s also a great private space. All I have to do is go in there with a nice book and some tea, and curl up. It also makes a great love den – if the tank’s rockin, don’t come knockin!
No one messes with me. I don’t have to worry about the uppity paperboy throwing my newspaper into the puddles (he even said I no longer had to pay for my newspaper!) and I am invited to all the bar-b-ques. Everyone brings over fresh homemade cookies and delicious cake for me to enjoy.
They see me rollin’, they hatin’. And I love it.
Rating
What are you going to do when the world as we know it is gone? When gas is the only commodity and there are wars on our freeways? Do like I did and buy this DONK.
It has everything a true road warrior should have. Protection on top for those pesky ultra lights. Gas tank boobie trap. Safety rail on top for your crew
With slight modifications you can convert this puppy with little effort into a great driving iron for halloween
Rating
I was really upset that when I went to purchase this marvelous item for my girlfriend for her trips into the urban enviroment, it came without the option of giftwrapping. I think if I am going to pay $20,000 for an item they should have the decency to gift wrap it. I have enough touble wrapping a DVD let alone a personal tank. Because of this fault, I could not buy such an item no matter how much we wanted it.
Rating
Our neighborhood hires a local farmer to come give the kids hay rides every year. I bought the tank hoping to impress my neighbors. So I told them I would handle the hay rides this year. As soon as my tank arrived, I headed to Home Depot and bought a broadcast sprayer and some wood glue. I watered the glue down a bit and sprayed the tank down the with mixture. When it got tacky, I shook hay all over it. My tank looked like one of those huge round bales of hay you see in the country.
I could see the look of awe in my neighbor’s faces as I drove up. The kids were screaming with excitement. I could feel my popularity swell (as well as my pride). I let the kids climb on top and floored it. I barely had gone over 20mph when the first kid fell off. He was banged up slightly, but volunteered to get back on. I think the second one fell off because he was 2 and didn’t have the muscles to hang on. So I made the parents take the rest of the babies off.
Overall, everybody was having a really great time. That was, until I accidently pushed the FT (flame throwing) button and roasted my neighbor’s Golden Retriever. The kids freaked out and the parents blamed me. If more people would use shorter leashes, this kind of thing wouldn’t happen.
So, since then, my neighborhood association has written a new law banning Bandonkadonks from being driven in my neighborhood. Now mine sits in the backyard covered in hay.
Rating
This tank does everything the manufacturer claims and more. I tested this extensively against the Abrams M1 tank (my previously top recommended tank), and I can assure you this will easily outperform the M1 in almost all situations. My team even took the JL421 Badonkadonk to the race track. Even though it couldn’t keep up with our Porsche GT-3 test car, it easily annihilated the GT-3 as it attempted to pass the JL421 and took the checkered flag after 10 laps (elapsed time 4:05:32). However, this is where the JL421 fell short of fully meeting expectations. During the 10 laps around the 1/4 mile track, we had to refuel the JL421 a total of 13 times!
Don’t believe the manufacturer’s MPG claims — you’ll be severely disappointed! During our extensive testing, we were unable to achieve even a modest 6 gallons per mile. If you use this as a person urban assault vehicle, I would not use the optional RPG feature against other lesser SUVs that happen to get in your way. Instead, stock up on extra armor piercing rounds to take out fellow drivers, then use their vehicle carcasses as convenient refuelling depots. You’ll be glad you did when you see the rate this little fellow sips gas as you enjoy your road trips
One last word of advise: this is not a GM or Ford product. These don’t go on sale, and you won’t get a $25,000 cash back bonus for driving one of these home. If you can find a dealer that will sell one to you below the sticker price, don’t hesitate – jump on the deal before the poor salesman comes to his senses
Rating
When the guy from NOA called, I told him I wanted to pimp my tank. He said, “No problem dawgg, with this Padonkadonk you will definitely be able to BRING THE BLING, and all who see you shall know that you are truly THE KING OF BLING!
Well, the thing arrived, and naturally my first order of business was I wanted to raise the suspension by about ten to fourteen inches so I could put some gold-plated 22 inch rims under that bad boy. First unpleasant surprise:
It’s a tracked vehicle, and uses tank treads rather than wheels. So no twenty-twos.
Next I tried to lay on some prizmatic, color-shifting, pearlescent paint that would change from candy-apple red to purple to lime green, depending on the angle you’re looking at it from. Sadly, no matter how much you try to prep this armor with various grits of sandpaper and primer, you just won’t get the kind of smooth finish that lets the ladies know you are The Man.
Worse still, when you’re inside the thing, the ladies can’t even see you!
I did manage to apply some brass-plating to the guard rails up top, though, and I put a throne on the roof so everybody who sees me sitting in it will know I am The Man.
Only problem now is I need to find somebody to drive it while I’m sitting up there.
Also, if you know anybody who might want to purchase a set of gold-plated 22 inch rims with 35-series tires on them, hit me up!
Rating
..from Jabba the Hutt. Let me say that it is impossible to clean all the slime out, it smelled like a bantha inside, and I found a used condom; I will never do business with him again. Plus, he plastered and painted over all the blaster holes. If you are going to purchase a used JL421, please be sure to go over the chassis with a magnet so that you know the body is solid. I guess you might say that my low rating is due to the fact that I got a bum deal on mine–just sour grapes. As far as I can tell, the JL421 is a solid ride in all. I am applying for a spot on MTVs “Pimp My Tank,” and hopefully they can fix up this hunk of junk; hydraulics, neon lights, DVD and game console…oh yeah.
Rating
Talk about a badmofo from another dimension, I used to have one back in the early 90′s during the first Gulf war. I wasn’t in the Gulf war but me and my buddies would drink a bottle of Absinthe get good and hallucenating and drive it through the Arab sections of town so I guess you could say I am a Gulf War vet! Anyhow this tank is also fun to take to mall parking lots on a busy day and send all my friends with body shops some business. highly recommended vehicle for family fun/combat/ or just when you feel like kickin someones ass for no reason!
Rating
What an incredible deal! How many people can say they own a tank that looks just like Jabba the Hut’s palace? You’ll have a return customer; the next tank I buy is going to be genuine NAO design.
High quality tank; great value; incredibly stylish. You’ve got to own one!
Five stars.
Rating
Ever wonder what Skeeter and Dave from Mr. G’s shop class did? Well, they dropped out, got a couple of blowtorches, some scrap metal, consulted with someone who had at least a passing glance knowledge of mechanics, and then pieced together this hunk of garbage. Then, they became millionaires charging idiots like me exorbinant prices for it, with a very bad refund policy. But, thank God for lawyers, like myself.
Bottom line, this is a 6 mile per hour dinosaur. It can’t get out of its own way, and that’s a bad thing because very often it needs to. Especially when trying to escape angry mobs, upset crowds, raging drivers, other tank drivers (who can easily and steadily obtain speeds of upwards of 38 mph…the top of speed of this behemoth is a joke), etc. The list could go on an on. Just the other day I inadvertently hit (and ran over) what I can only surmise was a family of badgers. I killed one of them. This greatly angered the remaining badgers and they took hastily in my direction. I could barely escape with my life, and, believe me, don’t let the rusted-look of this thing fool you. It’s pencil thin. I could practically *feel* their claws at my eyes. Thankfully I was able to get away by cleverly driving through some low-lying brush.
And, as others have indicated, the sound system is horrible. But, it’s largely offset by the extremely loud humming, churning and grinding noises made by the machinery. It sounds like you are living a very early David Lynch film at all times…say, Eraserhead. Not bad for some, but can get a bit grating on the nerves. Even David himself has to offset that at times.
Get this if you must, but just know what you’re in for.
Rating
Listen, when you’re the leader of the free world like I am, it goes without saying that you’ve got to find ways to get around. It’s just really hard to do this when you’re president; you always gotta watch out for people throwing stuff at your car, or pesky protesters trying to block your way.
What I’m saying is that someone in my position can find it very hard to get from point A to point B…even when I just want to go to my favorite bagel shop in DC.
But I found a way to get around all these hassles, and it was with this awesome tank here. This baby’s got all I need; it’s steel-reinforced, so whatever anyone throws at it doesn’t make a dent, it rides smooth and easy, it’s got a kickin’ sound system, and just the look of it tells people to back off. Traveling is a lot easier since I got my little tank, and I love it.
Also a plus: it doesn’t take up much room in a parking lot or a garage, and it’s comfortable, which is great because what good is having all this style when it isn’t comfortable.
My job isn’t easy, but being the president of the U S of A is a little easier with my tank.
Rating
Its tough out there to be a pimp. With all of those Jenny Jones, Maury, and Jerry Spring shows going on TV, women are learning quickly how to avoid the grasps of a true pimp. No longer can we be seen in Maury Gator shoes with the 24K alligator on the side of the heal. No longer are Versce shirts with Greek decor on them hip. Hell even in these days women are shy’ed away from big cars with large engines and spinning rims, cause of some sort of hole in the ozone or something, all these women yelling “hybrids, Hybrids”, bitch I know nothing about no hybrid (Get on them streets and make me my money). Gone are the days of Curtis Mayfield soundtracks and Goldie getting out of jail to rule the streets of Oakland (If you haven’t seen the movie The Mack, the very first accredited Blackexplotation film, then the joke went past you, and you have no right to read anything about pimping!!!). Its tough out there to be a pimp. Too many factors are competing for the same mighty dollar. Gone are the days when I could set up shop simply cause I went into town in a flashy car and some flashy clothing. Women, im sorry to say are getting smarter and even pimping on their own using the internet…
After a month long trip to Las Vegas Nevada, doing some major pimping around the bubble, and of course some soul searching I knew what I needed was a new look, a new image and a new me. As a kid I always loved Star Wars, and it always made me feel like I could take on the world. I never saw anyone out in the real world looking like Anakin Skywalker or Darth Vader chillin having a drink at the pub. I think I found my look, and off to the races (sort of speak) i went and started changing everything I own into Star Wars memorabilia. Yup, everything, right down to the 1980′s Star Wars Underoos! I know what your thinking, “dude, this is all bull!” but stay with me, cause it gets way better. Who are the most lonely people in the world? Star Wars Geeks!!! There problem was that they all pulled up into the conventions in Honda civics, 80′s Caprice Classic’s, AMC Gremlins, and the all mighty mini van. I knew if I could get something that would capture their attention, something that would bring it back to the old days when pimping was in full effect and anyone with a dollar in their pocket could amplify their position in pop culture status by simply buying a flashy car I could achieve my goal while bringing a new element to the book of pimping. Plus I always thought Tina Fey is HOT, so…
The JL421 bodonkadonk Land Cruiser is every Star Wars fanatic’s dream. It hovers around the streets with ease making sure that pedestrians are safe when hitting them due to its sleek shape and aerodynamic design. Its spacious with ample lighting inside and out, 2 rows of seats with a decent stock c.d. player. I opted for the optional 18 in sub, with 4000 watts of power and of course the TV’s in the head rests. They have a great contact with West Coast Customs who will for a fee pimp your ride. Even Star Wars Geeks can be wooed by flashy Star Wars things. The NAO guys were really nice, making sure that all my needs were met. They were friendly and even were nice enough to have quoted Ice Berg Slim to understand my plight. The experience purchasing this item was amazing. But even more so the learning experience was extraordinary! I learned that even geeks can be pimped, and that through the fine art of pimping I can become the man I knew I could always be, a major pimp, pimping all throughout the land, with nothing but women (now geeky women) on my hands and money on my mind. Thank you JL421 Bandonkadonk Land Cruiser!
Rating
It shouldn’t come as a shock that NAO Design is shutting down one of the two production lines in their leased, 2,500 square-foot space in an abandoned movie theater; the Bodonkadonk is a lemon. Despite NAO’s claim that “The Badonkadonk can plow mercilously through 4 feet of solid concrete while it’s owner-friendly construction shields the driver from excessive cabin noise,” I got a sofa stuck in the wheels while trying to ram through my neighbor’s living room to steal some Twinkies. And I couldn’t hear my Celine Dion for the life of me.
That was just the first-day’s problems. On day two I realized the Badonkadonk’s advertised “Comfort Zone, Climate Control” is nothing more than 6-inch slits covered with inpenetrable safety glass. Try dealing with that on a thirty-minute trip to the pediatrician to treat your 3-year-old’s atrocious gas. My eyelashes nearly melted off (although, truth be told, the trip would have taken over an hour if the Badonkadonk wasn’t bashing through morning traffic).
On a positive note, the brown/rust/oxidation finish is as luxurious in person as in the photos.
Rating
With the price of gasoline, I opted for a different means of powering this baby. It has everything except the one thing you really need – a Duramax 6.6L Turbo Diesel – that I bought off Ebay. This was not an easy retrofit, but let me tell you. Add a programmer and soon, you’ve got a Donk that has 0-60 times in under 5 seconds, 1/4 mile in low 13/high 12 seconds and seat of the pants fun. Handling was a bit of a problem, but that was mastered with the help of Wii bought from Walmart. Add an extra Wii remote and nunchuck and you have remote firing capabilities as well as remote assisted steering. We bought some toolboxes for a truck bed from JC Whitney an bolted them down. Not only are they suitable as seats (once we added the seat pads we bought at Sears), but they serve as extra storage for the additional ammo (purchase at local army/navy store).
Yes, this is more than an SUV, it’s more than a tank. It’s an APUV (all-purpose utility vehicle) – that even worries vehicles like ‘vettes, porsche and the like. Sure … you can’t out run them, but with added speed (the added weight of the engine and the help of the Wii improved stability), remote firing and SHH (Standard Hover Height) of 25 feet above the surface, your firing range is dramatically increased. Add to that an Apple computer (bought at your local Apple store), your firing accuracy is increased to within 1mm of target sighting. It’s a must have for anyone serious about commuting.
Rating
After blasting my music too loud one too many times, my next door neighbors got fed up and bought a Badonkadonk to teach me and my stereo speakers a lesson or two. I was quaking in my boots when the tank arrived on their doorstep.
They went after my shed first, which was made of straw. And they drove and they plowed and brought that to the ground. Then, my neighbors went after my garage, which was made of sticks. And they drove and they plowed and brought that to the ground, too. But when they tried to knock over my brick house, they rammed into the walls and broke their tank.
I’m unimpressed. Too bad they didn’t shell out the money for the optional gatling gun as others here have done.
My music is louder than ever.
Rating
I bought my first Badonkadonk earlier this year for my wife as a gift. However, by the time it arrived, our relationship had fallen apart – so the Badonkadonk has become my new home. Every night is a party when I drive up and display the Donk’s neon lights! My only complaint is that it is a bit crowded for parties (we have fit 12 people inside!) – but the awesome stereo system keeps us Donking into the night.
This fall, I used it for deer hunting – thanks to the optional 50mm assault cannon. Not much left of the deer, but the built in refrigerator kept our post hunting brews ice cold. I am planning on buying a second Badonkadonk for my brother.
Rating
When I first saw the JL421 I said `that must be a joke’, not out loud, just in my head. Well, I figured, I have an extra $20K laying around and I am really getting tired of my neighbor’s kid coming home at all hours of the night, on what ever drug kids do today, and smashing into my
Ford Fiesta. Common guys! That’s my second bumper this year – and it’s only February for gosh sakes. Well, I had a surprise for little Missy Wasserman, oh yea, plowed right into my brand new Donk last night, and let me tell ya, not one scratch! I can’t wait for “Butch” (not his real name) to get up this morning and see his daughter’s new X5 SUV (like that stood a chance). Yea, that’s gonna cost him! I took it down town – parking was a breeze – who says finding a parking space in the inner city was hard?
One thing not mentioned in any of the brochures is how easy it is to clean. Just open the hatch and put in the hose – DONE! My wife just loves that feature – and the optional hand grenade rack.
Rating
I bought this tank for my four-year-old, and I have to say that I’m a little bit disappointed. Although Amazon claims the tank can reach a top speed of 40 miles per hour, my son was only able to crank it up to about 36, and also crashed it into my mother’s car. If you’ve never played “Grand Theft Auto,” let me clue you in: When it comes down to tank vs. car, tank wins.
So please don’t give this tank to your child.
Especially if you live near me.
But if you must, please be aware that at my son’s request we have mounted a .50 caliber gun salvaged from a decommissioned Navy ship on top of the tank, and also little Andy loves to listen to Eminem.
Draw your own conclusions.
Rating
Think you can handle this Badonkadonk, donk?
I honestly weighed the pros and cons before investing in the JL421 and despite negative reviews, I still purchased it. I was appalled to discover it to be the worst purchase I have ever made apart from Janet Jackson’s last CD, which incidentally I used to scrape the plaque off of my enormous teeth.
Having teeth the size and weight of a normal human child, I have handicapped needs and the JL421 has absolutely no wheelchair accessibility. I have tried everything from ropes to catapults and I simply cannot get into the blasted thing without the help of my older sister, who has had a thyroid problem ever since Chernobyl… coupled with the fact that she’s 65, smokes, just had a child, and drinks fluoride like it was Mountain Dew, you could say she has a bit of a problem.
However, once behind the wheel, I found that the 8,392,329,102 knobs and levers were too many to choose from and ended up shaving my back, watching Sanford and Son, sending a torpedo into my living room, and causing World War III by inadvertently causing the stock market to crash, resulting in a riot of over seven thousand angry brokers… everything but actually STARTING the vehicle.
I read the manual, but it’s longer and more boring than A Tale Of Two Cities, and I sprained my wrist turning the 50 foot pages.
Point being, if you’re looking for a quick joy ride, it’s better to search no farther than your local street corner.
Rating
I used to live in Nevada but too many of my neighbors bought these lousy Donks and I was forced to move. It always sounds so innocent when it starts. Oh, we’ll buy a Donk so we can go bullseye some womprats in Beggar’s Canyon. Soon enough, post-apocalyptic marauders, looking like they had dressed up like the band KISS thrown in with a love of showing off their S&M desires in public, showed up with their Donks, demanding tributes from our fuel and water reserves. In the Donk’s favor, you can drive the thing while standing up. One of the marauders with a hockey mask, a bunch of metal spikes on his shoulder pads and a whip, apparently steered one of them but he kept falling off. While the Donk is not allowed on public roads, as a recreation vehicle, you can take it to giant dome cages where people fight to the death and stand on top of your tank screaming “Two men enter, one man leaves” over and over again. I can’t say I have seen a Donk since leaving the Nevada wastelands but the moment one pops up in my neck of the woods, I’m moving again.
Rating
This Hummer-replacement is at home anywhere, from the swamps of Dagobah, to the Jundland Wastes, to the driveway of my McMansion! As a proud owner, I want to share some of the pros and cons to Badonkadonk ownership:
PROS
—–
* With room for five, it easily accommodates my 2.5 kids, as well as our new R2 unit (though, R2 does have to be secured externally on long family road trips).
*The centrifugal clutch is a dream, giving you easy and confident access to all 13 gears. It’s a transmission built for every Wookie.
*The pivoting joystick is a blessing in disguise. With a small boy still in diapers, it can get pretty ripe in the crew quarters. No problem, just pop the hatch and drive from the exposed standing position. It’s a breath of fresh air, literally.
*With a small upgrade to the repulsor lift I no longer have to parallel park…now I just park OVER everyone else!
But, with awesome power comes awesome responsibilities. Some of the JL’s drawbacks…
CONS
—–
*The destination charge (from Tatooine to Seattle) was over 25,000 credits!
*6hp is good for everyday driving, but you ain’t completing no Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs with this bad boy…
*Our R2 unit is new because I ran over the old one. The JL421 DOES have some blind spots: do watch out for blaster fire from 4 o’clock.
*The only good Badonkadonk mechanics speak Jawa.
So, if you’re willing to tackle some of these challenges, than I would say you should consider the JL421 as your next Outer Rim transport!
Rating
This ‘donk sucks! I hated the so called aerodynamic design of the window panes. they’re slotted and angled so you can only see out in one direction which makes it difficult to navigate in any other terrain besides open desert. they way amazon shipped this guy was less than ideal. yeah, it’s big but what do you expect? it’s a ‘donk!
Rating
Argentinean legislation can be tricky when it comes to importing tanks, submarines and, for some reason, toothpicks; so I asked NAO Design to put “dish washer” in the invoice’s description. They hooked me up (trimmed a bit off the price too so I pay less import taxes) and when they were about to write down my address, turns out they do no ship Internationally, due to some treaty or other that the US signed with some multinational organization, UN or something, i don’t remember.
Needless to say, I am disappointed, NAO should get it’s own legislator and two or three lobbyists in congress and create an exception for the JL421.
Until then, I guess I have to continue using my Ford Falcon, which is as close as one can get to a tank, if you ask any Argentinean.
Rating
Okay, the mechanical glitches may not be the fault of NAO Design, since I got my JL421 Badonkadonk used (I won it in a game of sabacc, if you must know). And when it’s purring along, this baby shines! She made the Castle run in less than 12 parsecs, and that’s a record that stands to this day. But she left me in the lurch at several critical junctures, and I get a bad feeling whenever the Imperial Ties are on my tail and I need a quick getaway. Maybe I’d have fewer issues if my mechanic wasn’t a Wookiee. Forgive my bluntness, but you know how Wookiees are, and Chewbacca is no different. He’s either drunk on his ass in a Mos Eisley dive, or maybe rolling with the Ewoks in the local Endorean cathouse. Those Ewoks sure know a few tricks that Heloise doesn’t teach. You’ll recall that “Endor” is a bastardization of “bend over”, and now you know why. Anyway, once he gets a head of steam going, Chewie won’t quit until he blacks out and they dump him in the alley. It’s impossible to stop him before he’s done, and anybody who tries to get between him and his lady friend is just going to become another party-goer, if you know what I mean. He’s got everyone in the spaceport snickering at me. Jabba slithered up yesterday and asked where my Whoopee was. Yeah, very funny; the only word anybody ever hears him speak is “Whoopee”. Actually he doesn’t speak it, he screams it. His happy endings wake the entire town, including the dead. And Jabba knew exactly where the son of a bitch was, because Jabba owns the cathouse and the bar and every other joint in the county, and he sends me the bills whenever Chewie goes wild and wrecks a place. Which happens about three times a week. I’d like to kick Jabba in his fat tail, but his security detail would clap me in irons and I’d spend the next fifty microns mopping up the spent passions of the peanut gallery after Princess Leia’s infamous “Bride of the Gungan” show. If my JL421 were a tad more reliable, I’d grab Leia right from under Jabba’s ugly nose and race beyond the horizon. Leia is a salable commodity anywhere in the galaxy, so we’d never suffer for want of Hothbrew or dilithium crystals. By way of exchange, I’d abandon Chewbacca for Jabba to cast in a new exotic show. He could certainly teach the crowd a thing or two, although they’d mostly get inferiority complexes. Nobody can keep up with a Wookiee; just ask your wife, if you dare. Anyway, I guess the JL421 is a fundamentally decent vehicle, and its perimeter defenses have always held up nicely, but take my advice and skip the gaming tables, and buy it new off Watto’s lot. Sure, Watto is a thieving dirtbag, but compared to Lando Calrissian he’s Queen Amidala.
Rating
It’s no M1A1. Way better gas milage though. Yeah, it’s no M60A3 either.
Rating
Although the JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank offers just about the right firepower for conquering your neighbors and, perhaps, adjacent neighborhoods, those of greater hegemonic ambition should consider a higher-end product.
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I used to push a reel-type lawn mower to cut my grass, but all the neighbors would drive by and honk and laugh at my wussiness. So I got one of these and equipped it with ten outboard 48″ stainless steel rotary blades. I use it every Saturday morning at 06:23, the grass is perfectly cut, even if it is only 1/64″ high, and the neighbors won’t even drive by my house anymore. I’m going to have my Badonkadonk retrofitted with high-pressure washers and a paint sprayer and go into a side business.
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I thought this tank would be a real chick magnet, but suffice to say that that has not proven to be the case.
It’s a fine tank and all, and serves its main purposes well, but I really thought it would help me get some action, so be forewarned… it will not. Though I am not much of a stud, so maybe it will work better for you, I dunno.
I’m keeping it around just in case, though, ya know?
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I am a janitor at a local high school in New York. Walking through the hallways and sweeping used to require me to wear full body armor and a kevlar helmet. I was also skilled in defusing home made lunch box pipe bombs. Now that I own the JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruiser/Tank, Im crusun the Hallways with no problems. Gang shoot out here, pipe bomb there, no problem for me. Altough I am now being charged with 125 counts of vehiclular manslaughter and 4 counts of unauthorized use of a vechicle inside of a public school. I wont even mention my DWI charge becuase its the only one thats not a felony. Any ways It was fun while it lasted and I think I left a lasting impression on the kids!
P.S. Write to me in prison I get lonely!!
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A shorter wheelbase, lighter weight, and more power helped make the latest JL421 more nimble, but it set no new Land Tank standard. The suspension produces a generally stable ride, without pitching or bouncing. Small bumps and imperfections register in occupant consciousness, but don’t intrude, though the ride can get choppy at times–not exactly a surprise in this class. Larger bumps and potholes are not absorbed nearly as well as they should be, resulting in a rather harsh experience. Among the more agile midsize Land Tanks, JL421s suffer plenty of body lean and tire squeal in tight turns. The V6 engine delivers brisk acceleration and good passing power. JL421′s automatic transmission shifts smoothly and downshifts quickly. A 4-wheel-drive LS averaged 15.8 mpg in mixed driving, which is about on track for this league. Isuzu-engineered part-time push-button 4-wheel-drive is convenient to use, but most current rivals offer 4WD systems that don’t need to be disengaged on dry pavement. Passenger space is good, except for a shortage of rear toe room. The driver enjoys a commanding position, even though the seat is not height-adjustable and its positioning does not suit everyone. The firmly-padded driver’s seat earns high marks, however. A simple dashboard layout is marred only by undersized audio controls–recessed and positioned a bit too far away for no-distraction use by the driver. Step-in height is a little lower than the midsize-Land Tank norm, making it reasonably easy to get in and out. Back doors allow passengers to slip through easily, but narrow openings hinder exiting. Forward visibility is excellent, thanks to a low cowl and hood, but the optional outside spare tire interferes with the rearward view. The side-opening tailgate demands cumbersome 2-handed operation. To open it, you must first raise the window; to close, you must reach into the hinge area and release a bare-metal lever to free the door.
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This is fantastic for cruising to the Mos Eisley Spaceport across the Dune Sea. Makes it so you don’t have to deal with those stupid little Jawas. Dirty creatures.
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Fitting after market hydraulic suspension and flourescent downlights under the rims turns this otherwise combact innefective light armour vehicle into a pimped out chick magnet, and makes it somewhat easier to get over otherwise impassable objects on the battlefield, as well as neighbourhood speed bumbs. Keep in mind that you may find that the flouros need to be turned off during actual combat. All up this makes for a great lifestyle vehicle, perfect for work and play. Until I bought the JL421 I just had no idea just how much the chicks digg multi purpose light armored attack vehicles.
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I ordered two JL421′s four months ago. The first one arrived in plastic shell packaging that was almost impossible to open. I actually had to go to the kitchen to get scissors to open it, and still nearly cut my thumb getting it out of the packaging. Other than that, the first one runs just fine, except the AC is very slow to cool. The warranty card said that the AC is covered only on parts and not labor. This seems misleading, and I am not happy about it.
The second JL421 I bought was used. The seller said that it was in perfect condition, but when it arrived it had a small scratch on the front passenger side fender. It also has an unidentified red splotch on the upper deck carpeting. I’m assuming it’s just a little blood, but the seller really should have at least mentioned it. The AC works, but the cosmetic issues still need to be resolved. If you’re buying used, buyer beware.
The JL421 does not offer an onboard FLIR option, and only room for 2 MK-41 VLS Surface to Air missile platforms (unlike the HM933 FLAPJACK Land Cruiser which offers 4). Also, if attaching the optional 60MM cannon, you’ll need to buy a 3rd party reinforcement kit ($1249.99), or risk damaging the luggage rack.
Other than those minor issues, the JL421 has a wonderful ride, and even came with flip down DVD players for the kids for long trips. My wife and I still enjoy them, but we will probably be upgrading to the Winnebago WL230 WARRIOR next spring.
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Well, let me start off with a story. I have this neighbor, and he always gloats about his perfect lawn. Screw that, I drove my tank over it.
I’m not giving my name, but this guy is wiped out of the gene pool. Along with a couple civilians that were wearing Redskins Jerseys. I can’t stand the Redskins.
Overall a good tank, but the A/C is kinda weak, and it’s a little slower than I expected. The seats feel kinda sharp and pokey, like they’re full of rocks. I was driving on a dirt trail and it just shut down and started smoking, and I couldn’t figure out what was wrong for like 3 days. It overheated! Tanks shouldn’t overheat.
Oh, wait. Not a good tank. Don’t buy it. I did like the incredible speed though.